Dear Katherine,
How long should you wait before you spank your girlfriend during sex?
Sincerely,
Anxious
Dear Anxious,
I wish relationships were that predictable and straightforward. If they were, I could answer your question with a mere few words — something like “after two months, get the whip out.”
But alas, it doesn’t work that way. And I’m sure you know that.
So while I can’t give you a clear time frame, I can press you to answer a very important piece of information missing from your question: What does your girlfriend want? Does she want you to spank her? Have you ever brought up your desire for some BDSM play? If not, that’s where you should begin.
Imagine it this way: What if she had a thing for anuses and shoved her fingers in your anus in the middle of sex without any warning? You may be turned on by it, and that’s great. Or, you may be turned off. Violated, even.
Same thing goes for you if you surprise her with a spanking. She could love it, or she could not. That’s why it’s better to be open and frank about it. That doesn’t mean you don’t keep it playful, talking about what each of you wants can be sexy — really sexy. Bring it up as you’re building up tension with one another before sex and ask her what she thinks about playing it a little rough. Tell her what really turns you on.
Or, bring it up after some great sex when you both are just calming down. Express how wonderful that was and then look at her — mischievously, of course — and tell her that while she was in (insert favorite spanking position here), looking so damn sexy, you kind of had the desire to spank her.
See what she says. It could just lead to a whole bunch of sexy conversations about her innermost desires, your fantasies and everything else in between.
You just might wish you talked to her about it sooner.
Sincerely,
Katherine